Now that’s a Man’s Grill
Now this is a BBQ guaranteed to get everyone’s attention……I think it should be towed with the barrel facing backwards…then you wouldn’t have to worry about anyone tailgating you….I don’t know for sure but my guess is the owner is from Texas!!!!!!
New Meaning to rolling out the big guns
BBQ RULESWe are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine…(1) The woman buys the food. (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine… (6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat
Important again:(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine…(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:(11) EveryonePRAISEStheMANandTHANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12)The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ‘ her night off ‘and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women!
Have you ever thought about noodling?
For all those crazy guys who go ‘noodling’ for catfish and stick their arms down the fish’s throat!! This would be ‘all the catfish you can eat’,
Each year, a few people were drowning or disappearing mysteriously in Huadu’s Furong Reservoir. It was not until recently, when the son of a government official went swimming, in the reservoir and was drowned, that the secret was revealed.
It is a 3 meter (9.8ft) long man-eating catfish whose head alone is 1 meter (3.3ft) wide!
After cutting up the catfish, people were surprised to find the remains of another man inside!
Swimming in the reservoir is now forbidden because it is feared another similar man-eating catfish is still lurking in the waters.
Chevy Snowmobile
The Mother of All Clocks
1938 Stainless Steel Ford
Spanish and Computers
A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
(“House” for instance, is femenine “la casa”)
‘Pencil,’ however, is masculine: ‘el lapiz.’
A student asked, ‘What gender is ‘computer’?’
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer’ should be a masculine or a feminine noun… Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men’s group decided that ‘computer’ should definitely be of the feminine gender (‘la computadora’), because:
1.. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2 The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (‘el computador’), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model..
The Government Can
An Ozark Letter
Dearest Redneck Son,I’m writing this slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn’t have to change their address..
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I’m not sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven’t seen them since.
The weather isn’t bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven’t found out what it is yet so I don’t know if you are an aunt or uncle.
Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn’t get the tailgate down!
There isn’t much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened..
Your Favorite Aunt, Mom
